WAYZATA — Many residents are saddened but not surprised to learn that Wayzata’s Annual Benefit for Salad Fork Awareness has been canceled by the city council this year due to restrictions on large gatherings. This year would have been the Benefit’s 30th Anniversary which gathers for a feast of 61 poached swans in December to raise money for local schools to incorporate salad forks and other additional cutlery into local school lunch programs.
“It’s a terrible shame, what’s happened,” the ABSFA board chair Herman Minkle told us, “children in the Wayzata school district could go another year without learning the difference between a butter knife and an oyster shuck. They’re stuck at home with their dunderheaded parents, using a single fork for their entire luncheon, it’s preposterous!”
However, Minkle is hopeful that next year the Benefit can run as it has in the past, complete with traditional entertainment such as speed boat jousting and hide-and-go-evade-taxes.
“All and all, this year was just an expired olive in this little martini we call life. I’m confident we’ll have every fork in its proper place next year.”
Outside of gala season, the organization advocates for universal croquet lessons and raising money to start the Wayzata high school dressage team.