Dave Went to College Out of State And Calls It Soda Now

ST. CLOUD — Local resident Pam Bouvier has announced today that Dave, her friend for years and loyal confidant, has stopped saying pop after attending Boston University for four years. 

“We were at the Culver’s, catching up and getting some lunch when he asked for a large soda,” Bouvier said. “I thought he was playing a prank or something, but when we sat down, he said, ‘Nothing like a nice soda with your burger.’”

Dave said there was nothing odd about the situation. “They don’t call it pop in Massachusetts, so I switched to make sure people weren’t confused. It’s not a big deal.”

Bouvier had a differing view. “To think that something so fundamental to who he was could change,” she said, “it makes me worry that our friendship never really existed.”

At press time, Dave was seen talking about a great casserole his roommate made, as Bouvier was seen leaving in tears.