Guthrie Announces New Season Full of Every Play You Did in High School

Guthrie Artistic Director Joseph Haj spoke to a group of donors and press this morning, grinning ear to ear. “This year is gonna be another box office smash!” he exclaimed, as he unveiled a poster displaying all of the shows set to play in the coming year, all of which were performed at your high school. “It’s all of your favorites because if it’s not broke, don’t fix it!”

The upcoming season includes shows like Romeo and Juliet, Anything Goes, Death of a Salesman, and Noises Off.

“I cannot wait to breathe in that sweet nostalgic bliss,” said Arthur Wundegarde, 65, of Linden Hills. “I look forward to seeing My Town every year. They could literally play a projection of any production they’ve done in the past 50 years, and I’d still show up opening night. They’ve earned my $7,000 yearly donation!”

Will there be any surprises though? Well, this wouldn’t be the World Renowned Guthrie Theater if there weren’t any! Joseph Haj went into detail about THIS year’s take on Romeo and Juliet. 

“It’ll have the classic dialogue and iambic pentameter you’ve come to expect from ole Willy Shakes” Haj said, “Except it’s going to be set in war-torn Bosnia, everyone will walk on crutches, instead of swords they’ll have AR-15s, the Friar will be played by a turtle wearing a monocle, and-“ Haj was quickly drowned out by the thundering applause by all the Guthrie patrons. “And best of all, that show is in public domain!” he concluded before taking a huge bow.

“That’s kind of the reason I chose to do Romeo and Juliet too,” said high school theatre teacher Gretchen Jackson when asked about Haj’s statement. “Our school is more of a football school, so we have to do the best with what little money we have. But good for the Guthrie on getting a huge budget to put on basically the exact same shows. ” 

You can see both Gretchen Jackson and The Guthrie’s productions of The Importance of Being Earnest this spring, running simultaneously.