Opinion: Entitled Brat Thinks He’s Owed Money Just Because He Works at My Culver’s

Kids these days think they can just be handed everything in their life; think they can get away with anything. I can talk all day about Millennials being the life-suck of the 2010s, lemme tell you, but nothing is worse than the generation after them. Gen Z or “Zoomers” or “Plurals” or whatever they want to be called. Give me a break – the only thing they should be called is FREELOADERS.

Let me give you an example: I run a franchise of fast food restaurants called Culver’s. Heard of it? Yeah, I earned the spot of owning various locations by buying it with my $45M of hard-won inheritance that has been accumulated by my family for centuries. No one’s gonna accuse me of being a freeloader! Now get this: we hire these cashiers to take orders and input the purchases. Really easy job that will, sure enough, be automated within 5 years tops. 

This one kid, and I can’t even type this out without getting furious, but this ONE FUCKING KID has the nerve to ask when he’s getting paid. Trevor is what they call him; the GM of the Plymouth location tells me he was a diversity hire. The GM is another story – he thinks he’s entitled to health insurance (classic Millennial). 

Anyway, not only does Trevor think he should be paid, but he thinks it should be a “living wage.” The nerve of this kid…is it my problem you’re 16 and have to provide for not only yourself but your disabled mother and 2 younger siblings all while having to go to school? By the way, you’re going to have to decide which is more important: your job or school. You probably learned this “living wage” crap from your pinko teachers who insist they have the right to unionize. Pretty soon these little shits at my Culver’s will want to do the same thing! Unbelievable. This is my Culver’s. MY CULVER’S!!!

And before you call me heartless or uncharitable, let me just make one thing clear: we serve all people at Culver’s, and most of them are poor. We provide affordable meals for people who otherwise don’t deserve a home-cooked one because they chose to live in a part of the state that doesn’t have a grocery store nearby. But you know what is there? Fuckin’ Culver’s. So when we do inevitably fire Trevor as an employee, we will welcome him back with open arms as a customer.