Visit Paisley Park To Pay Tribute to the Man Who Who Wrote the Song Your Mom Probably Lost Her Virginity To

Paisley Park’s Celebration is back for the first time since the pandemic, which is a perfect time  for visitors to venture out to Chanhassen to pay tribute to their favorite pop artist. See the hallowed halls of the man who wrote dozens of pop hits, including whatever sensual masterpiece your mom probably lost her virginity to with a guy named Toby. 

Upon arrival, you see blue walls painted with soft clouds, creating the ambiance of a perfect 70 degree summer day, which was probably not the case the night your mom lost her virginity. It was most likely a cold November night, so your mom and Toby left their shirts on for warmth.

As you continue through the estate, you have the opportunity to see Prince’s iconic custom shoe collection. One-of-a-kind masterpieces designed specifically for Prince – just like the way Toby probably created a special night for your mother by stealing a spritz of Old Spice aftershave and laying down a blanket in the backseat of his father’s wood paneled station wagon. 

Then, as you try to erase the idea of your mothers virginity from your mind, you move on to see the recording studios. In the very studio where you stand, Prince no doubt played “Purple Rain” – the song Toby probably chose to play over the wagon speakers to finish off (seriously, no pun intended) the special night.

Finally, the intrusive thoughts of your mother’s virginity can come to an end after an hour or two of visiting Paisley Park…unlike your mothers special night, which probably came to an underwhelming end after 4 minutes and 38 seconds.