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Maiden Voyage of USS Minneapolis-st. Paul Runs Aground After Failing To Execute Downriver Zipper Merge

2 days ago Brian Murphy
  • News
  • Twin Cities

After Five Years Teachers Can Resume Field Trips To See Sparky the Sea Lion at Como Zoo, and Multiple Questions of ‘Why Does Sparky Look Different?’

2 days ago Catherine Hansen
  • News

Couple Clearly Phoning in Third Maternity Photoshoot

2 days ago Rick Baustian
  • News

Know Before You Go: All 30 Documents You’ll Need to Apply for a Real ID

2 days ago Tyler Martindale
  • News

New York Times Editors Finally Admit They Cannot Find Minnesota on a Map

2 days ago Ben Friedman
  • Editor's Choice
  • News

How To Make New Friends By Learning To Make Your Own American Girl Dolls

6 months ago Denzel Belin
  • Editor's Choice
  • News

Local Woman Wonders When Her Relationship with the DFL Will Move on from the Texting Stage

7 months ago Cass Foust
  • Editor's Choice
  • News

Embarrassing: This 8-Year-Old Kid Still Can’t Do A Loon Call

7 months ago Lily Meyer
  • Editor's Choice
  • News
  • Politics

MPD Dumps Cooler of Gatorade on Frey

7 months ago Aron Woldeslassie
  • News
  • Politics

Man in “Believe Women” Shirt Really Hoping You Don’t Ask About Keith Ellison

4 years ago Rick Baustian
  • Twin Cities

Wow! This Woman Loves Minnesota So Much That She Shaved it Into Her Pubes!

4 years ago Lynn Barbera
  • Sports

Vikings Relieved Petty, Absurd, Self-Destructive MN Sports Drama Does Not Involve Them

4 years ago Brian Smallbeck
  • Twin Cities

Spirit Haunting First Ave Thinks This Band Really Sucks

4 years ago Brian Smallbeck

Glenda, an apparition who haunts First Avenue after committing suicide in the 1940’s when the…

  • Twin Cities

New ValleyScare Attraction Themed Around Aquatic Invasive Species

4 years ago Grant Ertl

SHAKOPEE — In the fall of every year ValleyFair sheds its family-friendly image to become…

  • Politics

Al Franken Requests Senate Seat Back Since No Other Man Has Had Consequences For His Actions

4 years ago JD Hegarty
  • Sports

NFL: Daniel Carlson joins Blair Walsh, Gary Anderson in Vikings’ Hall of Kickers Who Can Go Fuck Themselves

4 years ago Brian Smallbeck

After missing 3 field goals in Sunday’s tie versus the Green Bay Packers, 2 of…

  • Twin Cities

Excelsior Residents Concerned Over Lack of Affordable Lakeside Mansions

4 years ago Michael Weingartner

EXCELSIOR – An increasing number of local residents are raising concerns over the lack of…

  • Twin Cities

Uptown Bros Association Announces Plan to Continue Calling it Lake Calhoun

4 years ago Blake Andrew

MINNEAPOLIS – From a podium outside their headquarters, Stella’s Fish Café, the Uptown Bros Association…

  • News

Stacy, MN Residents Fear None of their Moms Have Got it Going On

4 years ago Zack Eichten

STACY — While listening to the popular 2003 song the entire town of Stacy, MN…

  • Sports

NFL: Aaron Rodgers Uses Knee Injury to Remind Teammates He’s The Only One Who Fucking Matters

4 years ago Brian Smallbeck

GREEN BAY – Following the Packers victory over the Chicago Bears Sunday night, quarterback Aaron…

  • Politics

We Should Elect Former Governor Jesse Ventura Thinks Former Governor Jesse Ventura

4 years ago Zack Eichten

MINNEAPOLIS – Thinking to himself, the former 38th Governor of Minnesota Jesse Ventura has reportedly…

  • News

17 Chronically Wasted Deer Check into Rehab

4 years ago Allison Winkler
  • News

Pioneer Press to Incorporate Pop Up Ads in Physical Newspapers

4 years ago Blake Wanger
  • News

Elite DNR Agent Undercover As Elm Tree in Way Too Deep

4 years ago Tyler Martindale

A Minnesota Department of Natural Resources agent deep undercover as an elm tree is beginning…

  • Politics

Representative Erik Paulsen Really Enjoying His Ice Milk, Sources Say

4 years ago Brian Smallbeck
  • News

Minnesota’s Knife Lake Surprisingly Not the Site of Several Grisly Teen Murders in the 80s

4 years ago Michael Weingartner

In a shocking turn of events, a recent investigation into the history of Knife Lake,…

  • News

Minnesotan Complaining About Heat to Eventually Lose Toe from Frostbite

4 years ago Brian Smallbeck

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Uh Oh! The Andrews Sisters Have Challenged HAIM to a Duel from Beyond the Grave Again

4 months ago Morgan Gray
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A Terrible Omen: Culver’s Frozen Custard Flavor of the Day Is “Just Vanilla”

4 months ago Tyler Martindale
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Opening of MOA’s Museum of Failure Delayed for Additions to Minnesota Vikings Exhibit

4 months ago Brian Matuszak
  • Featured
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Eden Prairie Parents Demand School Casts White Kid As Othello

4 months ago Denzel Belin
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Five Chaste Ways to Shoot Your Shot at Church Bae During This Year’s New Years Eve Service

5 months ago Bianca Nkwonta

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Maiden Voyage of USS Minneapolis-st. Paul Runs Aground After Failing To Execute Downriver Zipper Merge

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After Five Years Teachers Can Resume Field Trips To See Sparky the Sea Lion at Como Zoo, and Multiple Questions of ‘Why Does Sparky Look Different?’

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2 days ago Ben Friedman
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