Tim Walz Relieved To Know That Tina Smith Never Called Him A ‘Dick Boss’ On Twitter

Eau Claire, WI — After a Twitter spat between Senator Tina Smith and Elon Musk last month, Tim Walz made sure to point out (unprompted) in his recent town halls that Tina never said that about him on Twitter. (And he double checked!) According to his staff, Walz did the deep dive himself, spending over 12 hours doom-scrolling Twitter for any past tweets before an intern reminded him that he needed to go specifically onto Smith’s profile instead of scrolling his own feed. He also made the mistake of searching the word ‘dick’ more than once, prompting his team to take his phone away.

“I was really worried that they would find something. You can never be too sure.” said Walz. “It seems that everyone at some point has tweeted things that can really haunt you on the campaign trail. It’s usually something that you have completely forgotten about, like Justin Timberlake’s world tour is going to be unforgettable, or the 2016 Ghostbuster reboot deserved an oscar, or that the lizard people who run the federal government are bad.” 

Later on, Walz admitted that it would be pretty cool if Smith said something like that to him on twitter because it was so ‘badass.’ 

“Most people don’t know Tina like I do! She has always been a badass, and Elon got off really lucky. You should see her in a bar fight. I have fond memories of campaigning together in northern Minnesota, mostly getting thrown out of 10 of the 11 Zorbaz locations, but still, that woman doesn’t know when to quit.”