Jacob Frey Excited To Post Juneteenth Tweet That No One Asked For
Minneapolis — Juneteenth, also known as Freedom Day, is a celebration of the emancipation of…
Wayzata Collapses Into Sinkhole Under Weight Of Trillions Of Folksy Minnesota-Themed Throw Pillows
WAYZATA — The entire city of Wayzata suddenly collapsed into itself earlier today, forming a…
Ant Carrying Massive Oreo Crumb Back To Colony Better Get To Meet The Fucking Queen For This
ROCHESTER — His exoskeleton aching from exhaustion, a carpenter ant struggling to carry a massive…
Not Buying It: The Minnesota Historical Society Announced They’ve Discovered An Apology By Charles Lindbergh But It’s Clearly From The iPhone Notes App
You’re going to have to try harder than that, guys! The Minnesota Historical Society just…
A Disgrace To His Legacy: The Prince Estate Is Selling Orange T-Shirts That Say “Sex Just Isn’t My Thing”
This is borderline sacrilegious. Just weeks after announcing a makeup collection by Urban Decay, Prince’s…
‘I Guess This Is What Happens When You Defund The Police!’ Yells Brooklyn Center Man After Accidentally Slamming Fingers In Car Door
BROOKLYN CENTER — Conservative long-time Brooklyn Center resident Mike Baker, 38, angrily blamed the recent…
Embarrassing! This Cat Has Been Immersed in English For 16 Years And Still Can’t Speak A Word Of It
When it comes to learning a second language, immersion is a universally trusted technique. So…
Early Minnesota Heat and Humidity Results in Record-Breaking Levels of Swass, Swoob and Swarmpit
The Minnesota Pollution Control Agency has released metrics that indicate that due to high heat…
Melvin Carter Laying Awake Nervously Wondering When Local Satire Site Will Inevitably Turn On Him
ST. PAUL — Despite having downed a calming mug of hot chamomile and dressing in…