Hungry Brainerd Optimist Googles “Ethiopian Restaurants Near Me”
BRAINERD — In an inspirational act of optimistic thinking, hungry Brainerd resident Doug Strickland just…
An Understandable Mixup: An Independent Collector Just Presented The SPAM Museum With an Ad for The World’s Oldest Penis Enlargement Pill That The Porn Industry Doesn’t Want You To Know About
Wow. This is such an easy blunder to make that it’s honestly surprising it hasn’t…
Jesse Ventura Calls Tim Walz Reminding Him Not To Touch Box Labeled “Tiny Cave Man” In Governor’s Mansion’s Freezer
ST. PAUL — A frantic-sounding former Governor Jesse Ventura called Tim Walz at approximately 11…
Mumbling, Wandering Paul Westerberg Draws Crowd of 10,000
MINNEAPOLIS — Minnesotans, like the rest of the country, have been so pent up and…
‘If The Police Don’t Prevent Crime, What Do They Do?’ Says Dad Who is About to Have a Mind-Blowing Revelation
MINNEAPOLIS — With an uptick in crime in several Minneapolis neighborhoods, many Minnesotans are debating…
3 New Summer Patios Where You Can Drink Too Much and Become A Burden To Your Friends
Summer is here, which means becoming a drunk problem on patios. Minneapolis has some fabulous…
I’m Polyamorous!’ Explains Man Currently Pissing Off 3 Different Women
SAINT PAUL— After three blowout arguments in a single day, local man Cade Larson has…
Friend From Edina On Camping Trip Brings Along Classically Trained Bear In Case Regular One Doesn’t Do Anything Worth Instagramming
LAKE COUNTY — In an effort to ensure the venture’s success on social media, Edina…
Little Cousin On Fishing Trip Having A Bit Too Much Fun Ripping Worms In Half
GULL LAKE — Filling bystanders with concern for his future, 8-year old Dustin Greer is…