‘I Can’t Believe How Warm It Is!’ Exclaims Woman Who Has Experienced The Seasons Change Over 50 Times
BLOOMINGTON — It’s that time of year again: spring is in full swing, and temperatures…
Report: Walz Restriction Reason I Haven’t Been To The Gym In Five Years
As kitschy hashtags like #HotGirlSummer gain more and more popularity, gyms are a popular hotspot,…
MPD Adds Paid Administrative Leave to Job Duties
Following months of dialogue with community members, the Minneapolis Police Department announced today that it…
Loring Park Woman Would Give Up Every Lesson She’s Learned About Resiliency In The Last Year If She Could Be 3 Beers Deep At the 19 Bar
LORING PARK — As Minnesota crosses the threshold of four million COVID-19 vaccinations, many have…
The Accumulated Mugs, Cups, & Glasses on Minneapolis Woman’s Bedside Table Have Elected Their First Mayor
MINNEAPOLIS — There’s a new community developing in Minneapolis that has yet to displace anyone…
DNR Agent Carefully Avoiding Booby Traps While Investigating Ancient Temple To God Of Zebra Mussels
While investigating the ruins of an ancient temple, the Minnesota Department of Natural Resources’ Head…
Not Again: The Orangutans Just Escaped From Como Zoo By Pretending To Be A Family Of Naked Garrison Keillors
Welp, it happened again. For the third time in the last year, the orangutans at…
Minneapolis Woman May Not Be Able to Afford Therapy But She Can Wear a Fun Little Hat Now That It’s Spring
While many have struggled with mental health and financial insecurity the past year in the…
A Faustian Bargain: The Science Museum Of Minnesota Is Trying To Attract Cooler Kids By Introducing A New Mascot Called Dr. AssKicker Whose Catchphrase Is ‘Safety Goggles Are For Nerds’
In what definitely seems like a misguided and doomed deal with the devil, the Science…
Mall of America Archaeologists Uncover Unmarked Ossuary Containing Remains Of Peppermint Patty
A major breakthrough with the potential to shed a great deal of light on early…