Hungry Brainerd Optimist Googles “Ethiopian Restaurants Near Me”

BRAINERD — In an inspirational act of optimistic thinking, hungry Brainerd resident Doug Strickland just googled “Ethiopian restaurants near me” knowing full well the odds of finding one anywhere nearby were hopelessly stacked against him.

Strickland, who recently moved back home to Brainerd after going to school in Chicago, was craving some good injera and doro wat so badly that he momentarily allowed himself to believe there was a chance there could be an Ethiopian restaurant nearby. 

Google reportedly asked Strickland twice to confirm his location as if gobsmacked that anyone would have even asked such a question in an area like that. 

“I guess I’m not sure what I was thinking,” said Strickland of his ill-fated internet inquiry, “the first thing that comes up when you search for Ethiopian restaurants in Brainerd is ‘Mickey’s Pizza and Subs’. It just gives up and guesses ‘Italy is kinda close to Ethiopia, right?’. I kinda feel bad for the algorithm. It did it’s best with what it had.” 

Afterward, Strickland briefly looked up a recipe for beef tibs but after seeing ingredients like niter kibbeh and berebere, even he couldn’t muster up enough optimism to imagine they could be found at the local Brainerd Cub.

At press time, Strickland had broken down and was calling Mickey’s to order a pizza.