Jesse Ventura Calls Tim Walz Reminding Him Not To Touch Box Labeled “Tiny Cave Man” In Governor’s Mansion’s Freezer
ST. PAUL — A frantic-sounding former Governor Jesse Ventura called Tim Walz at approximately 11…
Politics
Mayor Frey To Travel To France To See If They’re Still Giving Cities Giant Copper Statues Or If That Was Just A One Time Kind Of Thing
MINNEAPOLIS — Hoping to increase the city’s prestige and celebrate his own mayoral accomplishments in…
Jacob Frey To Take Month Long Sabbatical To Learn How To Toss a Quarter Into Jukebox From Across the Room
MINNEAPOLIS — Hoping to increase his likability going into the upcoming election, Minneapolis mayor Jacob…
Minnesota Conservatives March On Capitol To Prevent Elementary Schools From Teaching That Jazz In Star Wars Is Called Jizz
ST. PAUL — Hundreds of irate Minnesotans descended on the State Capitol today to protest…
Melvin Carter Laying Awake Nervously Wondering When Local Satire Site Will Inevitably Turn On Him
ST. PAUL — Despite having downed a calming mug of hot chamomile and dressing in…
Jacob Frey Excited To Start Governing Now That Whole Racism Thing Over
MINNEAPOLIS — Following the guilty verdict in the Derek Chauvin trial, Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey…
Intricate And Outdated Mode Of Governing Cool Now Because We Got To Keep 8 Seats
After Minnesota avoided losing a Congressional representative in a massive political upset last week, we…
Mayor Frey Rifling Through Closet of Performance Fleeces to Find Which One Best Conveys That He is Listening and Learning
MINNEAPOLIS — While the jury deliberates on a verdict for Derek Chauvin’s trial, Mayor Frey…
Jacob Frey Googles “How To Get A Funko Pop Of Yourself??!” For Fourth Time Today
MINNEAPOLIS — Mayor Jacob Frey has reportedly been ignoring meetings, morning agendas, and other duties…
Tim Walz To Loosen Restrictions So He And His Band Can Play One Final Show
ST. PAUL — Governor Tim Walz is yet again loosening COVID restrictions, puzzling many as…