Wolves Still Confirming Date to Shatter Fan Dreams
MINNEAPOLIS — The Minnesota Timberwolves, fresh off a series of preseason wins against the Pelicans,…
Twin Cities
Minneapolis Police No Longer Allowed to Do the Thing They Are Going to Do Anyway
MINNEAPOLIS — In a stunning rule change, the Minneapolis Police Department has announced they will…
Governor Walz Announces Findings that Line 3 is Actually “Good for Women” Somehow
ST. PAUL — In a surprise press conference yesterday, Governor Walz announced that despite the…
5 Patron Saints Performing At The 2021 Basilica Block Party
This year’s Basilica Block Party promises to be one of the best yet. Not only…
Minnesota State Fair’s Ye Olde Mill Ride Undergoing Massive New Two Light Bulb Renovation Prior to Opening
ST. PAUL — As preparations are underway for this year’s Great Minnesota Get-Together, there’s one…
Opinion: It’s My God-Given Right to Get into a Gunfight on the Ferris Wheel at the State Fair
I look forward to the State Fair like all the rest of you. I can…
4 Delicious New State Fair Foods That Prove God Is Dead
After a year off, millions of Minnesotans are craving fair food like never before. Thankfully,…
Minneapolis Police Officer Finds Peace, Tranquility In New Hobby Of Destroying Community Gardens
MINNEAPOLIS — Improving his overall wellbeing and inspiring coworkers with his newfound zest for life,…
Woah: The Stone Arch Bridge Troll Has Gotten Absolutely JACKED During the Pandemic
MINNEAPOLIS — While some people have channeled their more ample free time into fitness during…
3 Twin Cities Lakes We Love Even Though They Smell Like Butts
One of the benefits of living in the Land of 10,000 Lakes is the ability…
Mayor Frey To Travel To France To See If They’re Still Giving Cities Giant Copper Statues Or If That Was Just A One Time Kind Of Thing
MINNEAPOLIS — Hoping to increase the city’s prestige and celebrate his own mayoral accomplishments in…
Despicable Anarchist Fixes Neighbor’s Fence In Exchange For Baked Goods
MINNEAPOLIS — In a move both alarming and deplorable, local anarchist Sage Beckett has repaired…