Jacob Frey Offering Literal Get Out Of Jail Free Card To Anyone Who Promises To Not Bully Him
MINNEAPOLIS — With the mayoral election coming in just a few months Mayor Jacob Frey…
Politics
Awkward! Both Twins From ‘The Shining’ Are Running For MN GOP Chair
Both Alexie and Alexa Grady, the twin demonic specters that once haunted the Overlook Hotel,…
Governor Walz Announces Findings that Line 3 is Actually “Good for Women” Somehow
ST. PAUL — In a surprise press conference yesterday, Governor Walz announced that despite the…
Tim Busse Animatronic Added To Nickelodeon Universe’s Hall Of Bloomington Mayors
BLOOMINGTON — An animatronic likeness of Bloomington mayor Tim Busse has finally been added to…
Jesse Ventura Calls Tim Walz Reminding Him Not To Touch Box Labeled “Tiny Cave Man” In Governor’s Mansion’s Freezer
ST. PAUL — A frantic-sounding former Governor Jesse Ventura called Tim Walz at approximately 11…
Mayor Frey To Travel To France To See If They’re Still Giving Cities Giant Copper Statues Or If That Was Just A One Time Kind Of Thing
MINNEAPOLIS — Hoping to increase the city’s prestige and celebrate his own mayoral accomplishments in…
Jacob Frey To Take Month Long Sabbatical To Learn How To Toss a Quarter Into Jukebox From Across the Room
MINNEAPOLIS — Hoping to increase his likability going into the upcoming election, Minneapolis mayor Jacob…
Walz to End Emergency Powers Aug. 1 But Will Hang Onto Invisibility Just in Case
Brian MatuszakBrian Matuszak has been trying to make Duluth funny for 35 years now through…
Minnesota Conservatives March On Capitol To Prevent Elementary Schools From Teaching That Jazz In Star Wars Is Called Jizz
ST. PAUL — Hundreds of irate Minnesotans descended on the State Capitol today to protest…
Melvin Carter Laying Awake Nervously Wondering When Local Satire Site Will Inevitably Turn On Him
ST. PAUL — Despite having downed a calming mug of hot chamomile and dressing in…