MINNEAPOLIS — Despite spending a large portion of the last few months thinking about it, Jacob Frey is reportedly still deciding which “Imagine Dragons” track to make his official 2021 campaign song.
“I wish I could just make their whole catalogue my campaign song, from the soulful masterpiece that is ‘Radioactive’ to the transcendent ‘Thunder’,” said Frey, “the beauty of their work is just so overwhelming.”
Frey says the decision is particularly daunting because the song he chooses must have some thematic relevance to his campaign’s overall message.
“‘Believer’ is good because I believe that I should be the mayor and ‘Whatever It Takes’ is good because I will do whatever it takes to be the mayor” said Frey, “but ‘Demons’ is also good because I am always being haunted by the demons that are the people who I say I shouldn’t be the mayor.”
The mayor’s indecision is causing a great deal of stress among his closest associates.
“He’s been sitting at his desk rubbing his chin like he’s thinking really deeply and playing the same three songs basically non stop for days. It’s hell,” said a campaign staff member who wishes to remain anonymous, “plus his Captain America’s shield-shaped bluetooth speaker is very broken and the songs are playing at 1.5 speed but he doesn’t even seem to notice.”
At press time, Frey cancelled every event on his schedule for the next week after realizing he could also choose a song by “Panic! At The Disco”.