Politics
QUIZ: Are you a Pawlenty, Walz, Dayton, or Ventura?
1) What is your go-to spot for a first date? A. A brewery- somewhere fun…
Jason Lewis Tests Negative for COVID-19, Basic Human Decency
Officials from the Jason Lewis for Senate campaign announced Thursday that the candidate has tested…
T-Wolves Execs Jealous of Trump Tulsa Rally Crowd Size
Photo by Bobak Ha’Er
MN GOP Commemorates Juneteenth by Tweeting ‘All Dates Matter’
The Minnesota Republican party issued a tweet insisting that June 19th, also known as Juneteenth, which celebrates the freeing of enslaved people in the United States, should be a day in which Minnesotans remember that “all dates matter”.
‘Sup Fam?’ Says Mayor Frey to Booing Protestors
Minneapolis Mayor and local “cool” guy, Jacob Frey was shocked to find an angry crowd…
Mike Freeman Banking on Voters Not Knowing Who He Is to Avoid Recall
After coming under fire for his handling of the murder of George Floyd, Hennepin County Attorney Mike Freeman is hoping he’ll escape efforts to recall him from office because no one actually knows who he is.
Sign Language Interpreter Nic Zapko Preemptively Named Time’s Person of the Year
Original screenshot of video by mn.gov
Walz: Human Sacrifice Altars Can Open If They Have Safety Plan
According to the new rules, all sacrificial victims, high priests, and members of the crazed crowd baying for a cleansing shower of human blood must stand at least six feet from one another at all times. Masks must also be worn by all present, whether their heads are currently attached to their bodies or tumbling down pyramid stairs. All swords, clubs, and shards of obsidian must be thoroughly disinfected between uses.
Mike Pence Regrets Not Licking More Patients at Mayo Clinic
Photo by Gage Skidmore