Brian Smallbeck

‘Sure Could Use Some Of That Global Warming Today!’ Jokes Blaine Man Who Will Die Defending Moisture Farm From Desert Raiders In 2047

During a recent cold snap that gripped much of the Upper Midwest, Blaine resident Matt Johansen made light of a dire climatic situation that would eventually lead to his death in 2047 at the hands of outlaw cannibals following the environmental and societal collapse of much of the planet. 

“Sure could use some of that global warming today!” the 37-year-old account manager quipped, unaware that the frozen ground he was standing on would one day be an arid wasteland under the purview of a…