Vikings Cite Pandemic in Explaining Last 59 Years of Incompetence

Addressing reporters following the 40-23 loss to the Atlanta Falcons, Vikings General Manager Rick Spielman asked fans and the press to account for the COVID-19 pandemic when considering the organization’s long history of breathtaking incompetence.

“These are unprecedented times, and I think that needs to be acknowledged when looking at the loss on Sunday. Or the losses this season. Or any of them, ever.” 

Speilman went on to explain that due to the new testing protocols reducing practice time, he can’t be blamed for drafting quarterback Christian Ponder in 2011. 

“A lot of our rookies didn’t have a preseason this year, which, if you really think about it, goes a long way in explaining why we lost Super Bowl IV despite being heavily favored.” 

Speilman added that despite great strides being made towards effective treatment and a vaccine for the virus, the Vikings shouldn’t be expected to win a championship anytime in the near or distant future.