Jensen, Oz Open Private Quacktice

Original photo by David Berkowitz, Minnesota Senate Republicans, and Sebastian Herrmann

Following months of speculation, Minnesota Gubernatorial candidate Dr. Scott Jensen and Pennsylvania Senate candidate Dr. Mehmet Oz announced they will joining forces to open a private medical quacktice. 

“We are both experts at spreading medically dubious treatments,” said Jensen, “and I am so excited to work with my personal hero, Dr. Oz, to bring the best of pseudoscientific chicanery to the masses.” 

The two Republican doctors intend to offer a comprehensive list of unproven, potentially dangerous services, including ivermectin baths, leechings, and scrotum sunning therapy. 

“There has never been a better time to be a charlatan doctor,” said Dr. Oz from his home in New Jersey. “And since both of our campaigns are floundering, this is a great way to keep profiting off of the vulnerable, desperate dupes who keep throwing their money at us.”

After a ribbon cutting ceremony at their brick and mortar storefront, the doctors announced an opening sale of “two blood lettings for the price of one.”