Mysterious Monolith in Roseville Just Empty Herbergers

Photo by Rexx W.

ROSEVILLE — Roseville residents were buzzing with excitement last week with the appearance of their very own mysterious monolith. Those feelings quickly turned to disappointment, however, when it turned out to be an empty Herberger’s.

“I guess we just forgot the dang thing was here,” said Roseville Mayor Dan Roe, standing outside the former department store. “And when all those ugly, weird structures started popping up around the world, someone spotted this big ol’ rectangular structure and said ‘Well, lookit here now.’”

Officials determined it wasn’t an unexplainable enigma, however, when they noticed the overpowering smell of Obsession by Calvin Klein still emanating from the building’s former fragrance counter.

“We got a whiff of that and then it all came flooding back,” said the mayor. “I swear I saw the discount handbags appear before my eyes.”