ROSEVILLE — Roseville residents were buzzing with excitement last week with the appearance of their very own mysterious monolith. Those feelings quickly turned to disappointment, however, when it turned out to be an empty Herberger’s.
“I guess we just forgot the dang thing was here,” said Roseville Mayor Dan Roe, standing outside the former department store. “And when all those ugly, weird structures started popping up around the world, someone spotted this big ol’ rectangular structure and said ‘Well, lookit here now.’”
Officials determined it wasn’t an unexplainable enigma, however, when they noticed the overpowering smell of Obsession by Calvin Klein still emanating from the building’s former fragrance counter.
“We got a whiff of that and then it all came flooding back,” said the mayor. “I swear I saw the discount handbags appear before my eyes.”
Brian Matuszak has been trying to make Duluth funny for 35 years now through the writing, directing, performing and producing of live sketch comedy revues, as well as scripted plays. His current theater company, Rubber Chicken Theater, will be celebrating their 15th birthday in 2023. He also wrote a weekly humor column for the Budgeteer News, creating nearly 400 columns over seven years. He can be found on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook (@rchickentheater). His interests include geocaching, time with family, and singing along loudly and proudly to Barry Manilow, not necessarily in that order.