As the infection rate of COVID-19 continues to climb, workers are being increasingly displaced by the pandemic. The outbreak has also created unexpected circumstances for those who already work remotely, including freelance writers who, with more free time and fewer opportunities for social engagement, would presumably have more time to finish a fucking article.
“I thought the lack of distractions would help me focus on writing,” said contributing writer Adam O’Dell, 30 minutes into his fourth round of Starcraft (the original) that morning, “but I just can’t seem to find the time with everything going on.” His experience is not a unique one, with many remote workers experiencing disruptions from changing government restrictions, school cancellations, and new, inexplicable obsessions with birdwatching.
“It’s hard because I feel like I’m failing the Nordly community,” whispered O’Dell between cawing noises, hiding in a patch of Cedar trees, “but since the outbreak started it’s been hard to balance writing about current events and tracking the elusive Vermillion Flycatcher.”
Epidemiologists suggest that closures and restrictions on gatherings may continue through the summer, potentially forcing remote workers to find dozens of bullshit excuses for not doing their jobs for the next several months.
While the forecast is bleak, O’Dell remains optimistic.
“I’m a little behind right now, but I can probably knock out a bunch of work this evening after driving home, taking a shower, sitting on my bed scrolling Twitter for an hour, trying to make steak au poivre, sorting through my collection of CDs I haven’t listened to or even thought about since 2011, playing another round of Starcraft, deciding which of these duck photos I’m going to get printed, filming a complete remake of the ‘Ski Lodge’ episode from Frasier entirely with sock puppets, finally getting around to starting ‘The Wire,’ and video-calling a friend from college who I haven’t spoken to since graduation.”
In order to ease the burden for displaced workers, the federal government announced this morning that