Ok?: This Cloquet Man Really Cares About This British Royal Family For Some Reason

Original photo by Carfax2

Huh. This one’s weird. Dan Schmidt, a grown adult man who manages an auto parts store in Cloquet, Minnesota, is for some unknown reason totally obsessed with the House of Windsor – the current ruling family of the United Kingdom.

Schmidt, a man of German descent who hasn’t traveled over 50 miles from his home since 2011, apparently knows all their names, cares about their “honor” and “stately duties”, and uses such made-up sounding words as “regnant” and “Cornwall”.

What’s really weird about this whole situation is that Schmidt seems to have developed this fixation only last week after watching a short clip of Tucker Carlson speaking about Meghan Markle’s interview with Oprah. Prior to this, Schmidt’s only knowledge of the British monarchy seems to have come from the 1991 film “King Ralph”. 

“The Duchess of Sussex? More like the Duchess of Sucks-ex! How could she defame the good name of Her Majesty?” wrote Schmidt in a Facebook post, “If the Queen of Antigua, The Bahamas, Belize, Jamaica, Saint Lucia, Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, Australia, New Zealand, Papua New Guinea, the Solomon Islands, and Tuvalu was some kind of ‘imperialistic racist’, I’m pretty sure I’d know about it”.

At press time, Schmidt had moved on to another controversial Facebook thread and was now defending the honor of the Confederate States of America.