HIBBING — After it was announced that Minnesotan schools would be administering standardized testing this spring despite the ongoing global pandemic, 16 year old Hibbing resident Maddie Redfern has decided to become a supervillain.
Redfern, a junior at Hibbing High School, has spent the last year switching between in person learning and distance learning, all whilst maintaining a slowly simmering anxiety about the health of her loved ones and the likelihood of complete societal collapse before she can legally buy a beer. Shockingly, the state-wide mandate to administer the MCAs normally this year has not improved Redfern’s mental state.
“Every day, I sit in this little room and stare at this little laptop screen and I’m expected to be learning, to be soaking up the state’s educational requirements like a little sponge. And for what? So I can be a productive citizen of a country that’s completely failed me at every turn? I don’t think so. I’ll do well on this test, but trust me- I will have my revenge.”
At presstime, Redfern was looking up ways to poison the local water supply, sketching out ideas for a “totally evil looking cape”, and ignoring an online reading comprehension quiz her Language Arts teacher had assigned for test prep.
“I’m gonna make Jeff Bezos look like Mother Teresa,” said an exhausted looking Redfern from her makeshift workstation in her bedroom. “You’ll rue the day you decided to do this, mark my words.”