Timberwolves Acquire Rubio and Edwards, Solidify Their Place As A Longshot Tenth Seed

With draft night picks locked in, the Timberwolves are already eyeing yet another short lived playoff run in the upcoming season. The T-wolves managed to grab Georgia shooting guard Anthony Edwards with the first pick, and trade away some late first rounders in a three team deal to acquire Ricky Rubio. 

Longtime Timberwolves podcaster and outspoken masochist Bryson Daniels was nothing short of relieved by the moves made on draft night: “Picking up Edwards is especially exciting for me. Hearing him speak about the fact that he doesn’t even enjoy watching NBA games really gets me going!” 

After returning from a bathroom break in which everyone present could clearly hear him sobbing, Daniels expressed more enthusiasm, “I think his football background will come in handy when we’re down by twenty and are forced to resort to throwing up half-courters for the entirety of the fourth quarter in some half-ditch attempt to win.”

In a series of bizarre late night tweets just hours after the Ricky Rubio deal went public, Rubio’s agent Carrie Thomas provided some insight into Rubio’s return to Minnesota. 

“We figured why not have [Rubio] go back to a team that already has a starting point guard that’s far better than him,” tweeted Thomas. 

Thomas’s tweets even gave followers an idea of Rubio’s thoughts as soon as the deal was secured: “He comes to me and immediately starts yammering on about Minnesota this, Minnesota that. He was surely nostalgic about the six seasons he spent with the Timberwolves in which they made zero playoff appearances.” 

With a rotation of starters that is quite literally 80% guards, the new addition of the NBA’s play-in tournament has never looked so promising for this Timberwolves squad.