Halloween is here, and lots of spooky parties will be vying to be the hippest, most happening haunt in the town. Here are some tips to help make sure your party is one people will enjoy and not leave reminded of the imminent arrival of their seasonal depression.
1: Get spooky decorations!
Halloween is the creepiest time of year, so you will want to make sure your home is properly spookified! We recommend filling your home with candles and fake cobwebs to make people feel like they are in an abandoned house, partying where ghosts and ghouls could be anywhere, instead of reminding them that they will be unable to leave their one-bedroom apartment for the next 5 months without risking losing several toes to frostbite.
Jack-o-lanterns pull double duty, being a haunting decoration and a fun activity! Let people carve their own at your party and hopefully, they won’t think about the symbolism of a hollow shell with an unmoving grin out in the cold, pretending to feel anything other than empty. Plus, you get tasty pumpkin seeds!
3: Costume contest!
Nothing encourages Halloween party guests to put in a little extra effort into their costumes like a contest with a cool prize! Chose a winner for best homemade costume, funniest costume, or sexiest costume that is still somehow warm enough for this weather because, oh yeah, it is really already this cold, isn’t it? But at least it’s not as bad as the Halloween blizzard of 1991.
4: Tasty treats!
A party can’t be truly fun if everyone is hungry. Make sure to have thematically appropriate snacks and apps, like Rice Krispie treats shaped like tombstones, cookies shaped like bats, and pumpkin pie (but spooky). Look, we can’t come up with everything for you. We just really want to go home and sit under the blankets with some hot cocoa, because we have to wake up before the sun rises and then drive home in the dark now.
5: Great music!
Oh, and Daylight Saving Time hasn’t even ended yet, so that’s another hour of darkness we’ll be getting. Who even decided to live in this frozen hellhole? Everyone hates the winter but pretends to enjoy it because it’s cheaper and easier than moving to Santa Fe. We can already tell we’ll be spending every weekend in sweatpants, under a blanket, dreading having to go out and get groceries. Just play The Monster Mash.
6: Copious alcohol!
It’s worked for centuries, so why mess with a good thing?