An Understandable Mixup: An Independent Collector Just Presented The SPAM Museum With an Ad for The World’s Oldest Penis Enlargement Pill That The Porn Industry Doesn’t Want You To Know About

Wow. This is such an easy blunder to make that it’s honestly surprising it hasn’t happened sooner.

Esteemed independent collector Dr. Albert Krüger, based in New York City, just made the honest mistake of donating the world’s oldest ad for a pill that the porn industry doesn’t want you to know about to Minnesota’s own SPAM Museum.

Krüger, whose collection of penis enlargement pills and penis enlargement pill advertisements is among the largest in the world at over 20,000 individual artifacts, says he’s recently had to offload some of his collection to make room after printing out a few hundred new ads he recently uncovered when checking his Junk email folder. Krüger reportedly looked up “Spam museum” online without doing any further research and immediately flew out to Austin, Minnesota to personally present the Museum with one of his most valuable pieces.

The ad in question, a telegram, dates all the way back to the earliest days of “spamming” as it is now known, 1883, when pharmaceutical companies would send mass messages via Western Union. 

“You can imagine my surprise when I got there and realized it was not a museum dedicated to unsolicited mass mailings promising to grow one’s unit tenfold and instead to a type of strange jellied ham,” said Krüger, “I was so embarrassed, I just left it at their doorstep and flew back. It may not be their cup of tea, but consider it a gift from one purveyor of a ubiquitous and annoying product to another.”

Upon discovering the donation, staff at the SPAM Museum found themselves torn on their new acquisition.

“Somebody just dropped off this old ad on our front doorstep in a fancy glass case with a certificate of authenticity,” said SPAM Museum curator Jack Simpson. “At first, I was going to send it back because it was obvious what had happened,” ”But then again it does guarantee a thicker and longer pen!s (sic) that’ll make my girlfriend go crazy.”

In addition to the piece itself, the mysterious donor also included several hundred pills with the request that they be given out as free samples to Museum-goers.

“Giving out 140-year-old male enhancement pills that may or may not be made mostly of cocaine alongside morsels of delicious spiced ham doesn’t exactly fit the vibe we’re going for here at the SPAM museum,” said Simpson, “but who are we to deny our fine visitors a 3-inch longer member with only one dose? I mean, they’re endorsed by Professor Dick Cockhammer himself!”

Well… You can’t argue with that! Head on down to the SPAM museum to see this exciting display now!