Edina Opens Artisanal Garbage Can for Wealthy, Discerning Raccoons

The city of Edina opened its first artisanal garbage can for wealthy raccoons at 50th and France this week. The hip, five star trash bin called Le Can, has the city’s raccoons buzzing and lining up around the block, eager for a taste of its exceptional cuisine.

Filled with such delicacies as a half eaten slice of goat cheese pizza, a bag of organic avocados that weren’t the right shade of green, and a jar of some weird red stuff from a Lunds & Byerly’s, there’s no wonder monocle wearing raccoons* from across the city just can’t get enough.

Even raccoon celebs like Scratchy, the first raccoon in Edina to earn a driver’s license, and Killbert, known for a spread in “Rabies Weekly”, have been spotted dining there.

Le Can has a full staff which includes waiters, valets, and over 70 imported flies and maggots that are paid 12 euros an hour to improve the atmosphere. Le Can also features 24/7 live music from Grungy, a raccoon who ate through a box of Keurig K Cups and will not stop screeching.

*The Nordly would like to clarify that these monocles are merely for fashion purposes. The majority of Edina’s raccoons have, in fact, undergone LASIK.