PLYMOUTH — If seeing your extended family at the holidays isn’t normally a pain in the neck, thanks to COVID-19 you’ll most likely be carrying the majority of the conversation during your Zoom Thanksgiving and that can really do a number on your back. Luckily for you we have put together a list of four types of chiropractors who can crack you back into place.
The holistic healer: Recommended by your Aunt Carol who sells essential oils, this chiropractor seems more like a hippie masseuse, but they get the job done. They’ll be just the thing you need after repeatedly craning your neck to see if anyone else would say something, literally anything, without you prompting them.
The one within your health insurance network: Recommended by your dad, this chiropractor is the easy choice. Simple and straight to the point. Go see them at HCMC, no fluff, all fix. That adjustment will come in handy after throwing out your shoulder fishing for a conversation topic that isn’t the Vikings, work, or the weather.
The brawn: This chiropractor is 700% muscle and only means business. Often named Christof or Hans, their main goal is to align your spine in two giant cracks and get you on your way. You’ll need those cracks after frantically changing the subject because the only thing your uncle will talk about are his two cents on the Black Lives Matter movement.
The guy your cousin Tony knows: Not not a chiropractor, but he “practices” out of his garage. His methods are unconventional, but he knows how to tackle your deeper injuries. The kind that comes from having to lift the group’s morale, after your cousin let it slip that Grandpap had a secret family.
There you have it! Whichever one you choose, be sure to have their number handy because the crushing weight of your family’s awkwardness is a tough load to bear.