ANOKA — A ghost haunting a house in Anoka is currently feeling unacknowledged and wondering how many cups a guy’s got to knock over to be named a stop on one of the city’s popular ghost tours.
“I’m starting to think they’ve got something against me personally,” said the ghost of Norman Schneider, who died in 1901 at age 42 in his home on Polk Street due to a sudden brain aneurism, “If I were hacked to death by an axe murderer or were a pair of creepy Victorian twins, they’d be lining up around the block but us average ghosts get nothing!”
The ghost has reportedly been trying for decades to fulfill his dream of being a featured stop on an Anoka ghost tour by knocking cups off of countertops, slamming doors at odd hours of the night, and projecting tiny orbs of light only visible in photographs.
So far, the family of four that currently lives in the home has barely caught on.
Despite his near-constant whining, however, the disembodied spirit that was once Norman Schneider insists he is not bitter.
“Look – I’m not saying I’m as interesting as the ghosts that haunt the Anoka State Hospital! Heck, I’m probably not even Billy’s Bar and Grill level but come on,” said the ghost, “would it kill them to give me a little recognition? Geez!”
At press time, the ghost was attempting to switch things up by going back to the basics and wandering a hallway and saying “booo”.