Ghost of Uptown Arby’s Haunts Moxy Hotel

Citing multiple incidents over the past year, management at the Moxy Hotel confirmed the ghost of the former Uptown Arby’s restaurant has been haunting the property and its guests.

The Arby’s in question, formerly situated across the street from the Moxy Hotel, shuttered its doors last January. Since then, increasingly strange disturbances— ranging from mild noises and smells to full-on hallucinations— have plagued patrons of the hotel.

“It got so bad that we were forced to close our doors,” said overnight manager, Rupert Stanley.

Early on, guests were said to have heard faint squeaking sounds of a meat slicer in hallways, as well as the crackling of oil, and the metallic pumping of a sauce dispenser in their bathrooms – each accompanied by the aroma of horseradish. As time went on, though, the disturbances got more intense.

In December, Stanley recruited a couple of marketing interns to use a Ouija board to reach out to the ghost in the pool area – the site of numerous encounters. When the trio asked what it wanted, the pool reportedly began boiling over with steaming au jus, and from its depths rose a 10-foot-high stack of flapping roast beef donning a cowboy hat. With red eyes, hair made of curly fries and red food trays for arms and feet, the pile of ingredients yelped “I’ve Got a Beef – 100% Real Beef – with real estate developers!”

Following instructions from Stanley, one of the interns held up a sign with the logo of Reuter Walton Development – the real estate organization that recently bought the restaurant’s former site. Infuriated, the apparition began spitting Arby’s horseradish sauce from its mouth.

During the distraction Stanley released a rope that dropped a giant tinfoil sheet on the ghost, which wrapped around it tightly as it tried to move. As the team headed for the exit, Stanley cranked up the heat in the room, locked the door, and left the ghost to wither away.

“If there’s one thing that can ruin an especially angry Arby’s roast beef – or any fast-food for that matter – it’s reheating it into oblivion,” said Stanley.

Though the Arby’s ghost did give guests, staff and the surrounding community a good scare, Stanley went on to say that it doesn’t even come close to the most terrifying, life-threatening fast-food concoction he’s ever witnessed – anything from White Castle.