Hi, I’m Amy Klobuchar! These 10 Folksy On-Message Zingers Just Came to Me off the Cuff

1. They say running for president is a marathon, not a sprint, but I’m so committed to not leaving the middle class behind that I’m just walking for President. 

2. Fighting Global Warming is no walk in the parka. But seriously folks, reducing emissions is one of my top priorities for carbon emitters and my husband on Taco Tuesday.

3. As a Minnesotan, my favorite food is hot dish. It was also my nickname in college which should be made much more affordable.

4. Iran’s military posturing reminds me of my ex-boyfriends trying to dance – unstable, a little cute, and potentially dangerous for the entire region. 

5. Provoking rogue nations is like overcooking a pie: you won’t get salmonella, but you will get burned. 

6. What’s the difference between Elizabeth Warren’s home state of Massachusetts and my home state of Minnesota? Three “S”s, a “Ch” and only one of them is next to Iowa.

7. What!? Raise taxes? I barely know her! 

8. In Minnesota we have a saying, “Minnesota is directly north of Iowa.” 

9. Iowa? Did someone say Iowa? I’m so busy visiting all 99 Iowa counties I can’t remember if I mentioned this – I’m from Minnesota, which would be Iowa if it weren’t for the arbitrary and capricious actions of rogue cartographers. 

10. What do you call a healthcare plan that won’t raise costs, but covers vulnerable populations? Mine. 

Knock knock. [who’s there?] Iowa. [Iowa who?] Iowanna be President. Please?