ST. LOUIS PARK — Cuffing season is on the horizon and many people are looking for someone they can snuggle up with for the otherwise lonely and cold Minnesota winters.
But those looking for love need to be wary of making the all too common mistake of romancing a neighborhood inflatable witch from Menards, as one St. Louis Park man found out first hand.
“I first saw her from my kitchen window, in my neighbor’s front yard,” James Callaway told The Nordly, “tall, curvy, hair blowing in the wind. And she was standing next to a bubbling pot of some sort, which is awesome because I also LOVE to cook! I was completely under her spell.”
Callaway started seeing his magical, mystery woman, every evening around dinner time, as if on a timer.
“I started calling 5pm the witching hour because that’s when this enchantress would make her appearance,” Callaway explains.
After a few days of hexing glances, James made his move.
“She seemed really connected to the house and completely expressionless. Every time I tried to ask her a question, she would just spew hot air. I could tell that despite the chemistry between us that it just wasn’t going to work.”
And so Callaway was left with the heartache that so often comes from romances between man and holiday decor. But where one romance ends, another begins.
“A 12 foot tall, boney cutie caught my eye at The Home Depot last weekend, going to head over there soon to see if they’re still around. I think there’s something there.”