Local Boy Wearing Basketball Shorts During Polar Vortex Must Be Some Kind of Crazy Tough Guy

MAPLEWOOD —  This week’s drop in temperature may have caused most Minnesotans to break out the long underwear and hole up in their homes, but it hasn’t stopped local eighth grader Cory McNamera. He’s proudly wearing his basketball shorts outside like a crazy tough guy. 

“My mom told me to put on real pants, but what does she know? It’s not even that cold out,” said McNamera with a cool guy scoff. “I’m fourteen. I know how to dress myself. I’m practically an adult.” 

McNamera, who took out his family’s trash clad in shorts and an unzipped puffer jacket like a freaking legend, has impressed the whole neighborhood with his grit and determination to leave his legs uncovered during a -25 degree windchill advisory. 

“When he first stepped outside, I was like, ‘oh no, he’s gonna have to go back inside and bundle up,'” said neighbor and total weenie Lloyd Anderson. “But then, the crazy sonofabitch just kept walking, all the way down to the end of his driveway. Never seen anything like it.” 

This isn’t an isolated event, either. Several neighbors report seeing the middle-school badass practicing layups in his driveway, calves exposed to the brittle winter air, on a regular basis like it’s not even a big deal. Cory isn’t fazed by the neighborhood fame. 

“I don’t get why everyone’s in my business all the time and thinks that it’s a big deal,” said Cory, shivering on his front porch. “Like, whatever. I guess I’m just cooler and stronger than everyone else.”