HINCKLEY — A devoutly Lutheran family is concerned their adult son could be falling away from the faith after he prepared a potato salad entirely devoid of raisins.
Joel Larson, 26, was visiting his parents Dave, 53, and Patty, 50, on Sunday when he presented them with the offending side dish after church.
“When Joel said he’d brought a potato salad, I was delighted but when I tried a spoonful and tasted the lack of raisins and overuse of paprika, I was sick to my stomach,” said Patty, holding back tears for her presumably wayward son, “I remembered how the Carlsons’ daughter started putting Tabasco on her tater tot hot dish and now she’s a Unitarian.”
Joel claimed he got the new variant recipe from a friend – whom his parents immediately assumed was probably a tattooed atheist who smokes, rides motorcycles, and hangs out in alleyways denying Christ.
“I just keep telling myself that there’s still time for him to return to the flock. I mean it could be worse” said Dave, “it’s not like he’s addicted to drugs or making vegan lemon bars.”
At press time, Dave was scouring his son’s Facebook page for more evidence while Patty was sneaking a copy of a brightly colored young adult study Bible with a picture of a cool skateboarder on the cover and a handwritten note reading “for when the going gets tough :)” in his car’s backseat.