Minneapolis Officials Annoyed They Can’t Turn George Floyd Square Into Luxury Condos Without People Being Totally Uncool About It

MINNEAPOLIS — Things are getting heated as local officials debate about the opening up of George Floyd Square, with both city council and the Mayor trying to figure out just how on earth they are ever going to get people to be super ok with them eventually turning what many view as a sacred space into luxury condos.

 In the wake of the 2020 uprising George Floyd Square has been a place of protest, mourning, healing, and growth, with community members sharing a collective energy that some public officials secretly feel would be great for a brewery or a vegan butcher shop. But with pressure from different groups, local officials are trying to figure out how to best open up 38th and Chicago in a way that will definitely piss many people off around the world but hopefully not so much that we can’t all just share a big laugh about it years from now.

“We’re usually used to having control over what places get to be what, but right now we don’t have that control, and to be honest it kinda makes our job boring as hell,” said Mayor Jacob Frey. “I didn’t get into politics to not be able to turn any building I wanted into a combination coffee shop/apartment building with an indoor pool. This sucks”.

“We’ve thought of designating it as an arts district like Northeast, we’ve thought of talking to out of state developers to see if they have any hip trendy ideas like Uptown,” said council member Lisa Bender. “It’s not on the communities list of 24 demands, but eventually we’re gonna have to put a Target in that neighborhood and we’re hoping that they’ll just be super chill about it because that would be sooo cool if they were just chill about it.”

One of the biggest concerns officials have is how the space being closed affects traffic and business, something that Edina resident Chuck Stevenson had much to say about. “I don’t live in that neighborhood, I’ve never been in that intersection, and I rarely go to Minneapolis ever. But if they don’t open that space up, I’ll definitely start complaining about it more on facebook, and that’s on their hands.”

“We understand that the community there thinks this isn’t the right time to open things up, “said Mayor Frey. “But if there’s anything I’ve learned from being the Mayor of Minneapolis, it’s that it’s always the right time to build unaffordable housing.