MLB: Brewers Sell Out “Fairweather Fan Night”

The Milwaukee Brewers experienced record ticket sales at Miller Park last week for their “Fairweather Fan Night” which included a giveaway explaining who the team is. “I’ve always been a huge fan of the Brew Crew when they’re good,” said Russell Stevenson of Hillside, wearing a Ryan Braun jersey with the folding creases still in it.

Mr. Stevenson wasn’t alone in expressing newfound affection for a team that he, when they aren’t playing well, wouldn’t piss on if it was on fire. “I’m just happy to be giving a shit about the Brewers again.” said Linda Graham of East Town, as she looked up phonetic spellings of the starting lineup on her phone.

Despite an exciting game being tied in the 9th inning, the entire stadium had already emptied by the 6th, in an attempt by fans to “beat the traffic.”