On today’s date in 2006, Governor Tim Pawlenty signed Executive Order 06-08, a momentous and far-reaching directive that formally declared ordering multiple glasses of 2% milk with ice at a bar to be “totally normal” and “not at all weird”.
The unprecedented document, officially entitled “Emergency Executive Order Declaring The Drinking Of Milk At A Bar To Be Normal And Honestly Kinda Bad Ass If You Think About It”, was signed at the unusually late time of approximately 11:45 PM after the Governor had gone to The Spot Bar following a particularly hard day at work and was laughed out of the place after ordering a “tall milk on the rocks”, downing it in seconds, slamming the empty glass on the bar and declaring “milk me again, bartender!”.
The order contained two dozen separate subsections, making such proclamations as “ordering milk in a big glass boot shall also be normal”, “it shall be illegal for bartenders to look at you funny no matter how many milks you order or how quickly”, and “did you know the Vikings used to drink milk? Not so unmanly now, huh?!”, the last of which legal experts eventually struck down as it’s less of a law at all and more just a fun fact.
The order proved immediately controversial for one section in particular that set the minimum fine for making fun of someone for ordering milk at a bar at an extraordinarily high 100 million dollars, though Pawlenty lowered this amount to $40 the following morning, explaining “that he got a little carried away in the heat of the moment” and promising to “refrain from writing executive orders after drinking one too many milks in the future”.
Order 06-08 was Pawlenty’s 22nd executive order since taking office in 2003 and the second involving drinks after Executive Order 04-09 which renamed “Sex on the Beach” to “Sex Between A Married Man And His Wife on the Beach”.