Sadists Cleave Last Donut Into Smaller and Smaller Slices


The break room of A1 Accounting in St. Louis Park became a veritable torture chamber this morning, as the last donut from a box of 24 was ruthlessly torn apart by monsters devoid of mercy.

“I don’t want to ruin my lunch.” said accountant Brad Williams, satisfying his own sick desire by rending another chunk of the donut as it suffered in wordless agony.

Comptroller Janet Carson couldn’t help but give in to her basest, most despicable instincts. “I just want a little bit.” she said, whilst excruciatingly tearing away a piece of the forsaken pastry, and consuming it without a second thought. Meanwhile, the donut howled silently into the void, for it has no mouth and it must scream.

At press time, the donut’s remains were unceremoniously dumped into the trash, landing near the dried-out corpse of a cruller from last week.