Uh Oh! The Butterfly Statue in Stillwater Gained Sentience and Now It Has Flown off With All Our Sons!

Photo by Chuck Moser

STILLWATER — Oh great heavens, what terrible news! The darling little metal sculpture of a butterfly in Stillwater has sprung to life and now it’s flown off with all our sons! 

This morning we all awoke in our quaint little homes and called out for our sons, ‘Hello, good morning my sons, would you like a tomato and rye toast for your breakfast?’ and none of our sons answered. 

We scurried downtown and found that the pedestal on which the butterfly used to reside was empty, and it seems the worst has come true. For woe betide us, that metallic insectoid trickster had flown off with all of them!

Now we’re all abuzz with questions: what brought the ersatz butterfly to life?A witch among us? A God who decided we did not deserve our sweet, rosy-cheeked sons who skip and laugh in the streets below? We do not know, we only know that all our sons are gone, and the place where the butterfly lived is now empty! 

A plague! A plague on all our houses! May we all rue the day we did not pay proper respects to the butterfly statue!

If there is a shaman or magician out there who knows a proper sacrifice to offer this horrible beast in exchange for our sweet sweet boys, please come quick! They’ll be woesome without their supper!