Uptown Innovator Creates His Own Traffic Lane


Thirty-two year old Travis Peterson was stuck in traffic on his way home from work in Uptown when he was struck with the brilliant idea to create a path for himself by veering into the bike lane.

“It just came to me, like a flash of lightning, like a symphony from a dream, a wave of inspiration” says Peterson, who works as a financial adviser at Wells Fargo. “Why should I have to wait in line like a sucker when there’s just enough space for my Audi RS3 between these cars and the sidewalk?”

Showing little remorse for blatantly cutting in front of a dozen cars on the jam packed street,  Peterson continued, “If I showed up late for fantasy football at B-Dubs, my boys would give me SO much shit. Like, you don’t even know. Sure, people may honk at me, but that’s just because they’re jealous they didn’t think of it first.”

Jamie Schumacher, who witnessed the incident firsthand, said, “Yeah, fuck that guy.”