Ally Alert! This White Man Knows Almost Three Facts About Dakota Culture

Photo by Chewy

Minneapolis resident Alex Wardell, 24, a white man, calls himself an ally but unlike some, he has the receipts to back it up: he knows nearly three entire facts about the people on whose stolen land he now resides! 

While he’s never actually been to a protest, given money to any Indigenous causes, or supported really anyone at all in any way whatsoever, Wardell more than makes up for these deficiencies by bringing up the two facts and one mostly false fact he knows in conversation as often as possible.

“The Dakota are part of a larger group called the Oceti Sakowin or ‘the Seven Council Fires’” said Wardell at a recent house party to all his all-white group of friends who nodded admiringly, “and also the Dakota Uprising was in 1862 and it didn’t end well.”

He also claims he’s read an article about how the Dakota belief in a ‘Great Spirit’ called “Gchi Manidoo”,  except it was really a four minute YouTube video and that word isn’t even Dakotan. But you have to forgive Wardell for these mistakes because he’s often burnt-out from working so hard at his job as a landlord.

“Alex is really an amazing activist,” said Chloe Jamison, one of Wardell’s friends. “Just think how much better the world would be if everyone was just like him.”

Wardell claims to know several other facts about Dakota life and though we’d love to add them to his tally, they’re so vague that they can be applied to literally every population group on the planet such as “food and cooking has historically been an integral part of Dakota life” and “historically, the Dakota people have had a close connection to the natural world”.

Still, we’ve got to hand it to Wardell for taking time to kinda educate himself!

At press time, Wardell was busy explaining to a friend that Line 3 has actually brought a lot of good paying jobs into the state and is really boosting the local economy.