Bob Kroll Blames Personality on Liberal Media

MINNEAPOLIS—Lt. Bob Kroll, the head of the Minneapolis Police Federation, has responded to the public outcry against his work by insisting that his overall personality was the fault of the liberal media. The controversial leader of the union went on to say that his lack of innate morals and decency was the result of progressive-leaning bias in the news, and not due to his personal long-held beliefs.  

“While many say I am rotten to the core, an evil fuckstain, and a soulless monster by choice, I can say unequivocally the source of my general shittiness is not me, but MSNBC somehow.”  

As a public official known for purposefully inflammatory remarks and racist behavior despite being an adult capable of discerning between right and wrong, Lt. Kroll sees the perceived left-leaning bias in the media as the true problem and root of all his evil.

“If you don’t want me to blatantly lie and call peaceful social movements ‘acts of terrorism’, the liberal elites shouldn’t insist on telling the truth,” Lt. Kroll complained.

After deferring all responsibility for his immoral actions and beliefs, Lt. Kroll added that the continued national focus on civil rights is to blame for his mustache and haircut.