BREAKING: Albino Squirrel Absolutely Slaying

Photo by Kerri Lee Smith

DULUTH — Strutting up and down an oak tree like it’s the runway at New York Fashion Week, an albino squirrel in Duluth is leaving onlookers stunned and awed with its deeply unique and alluring style.

“Look at that white squirrel,” said Duluth resident Nina Odom, an eyewitness to the gorgeous genetic rarity, “you don’t see that every day.”

Sources say the squirrel, a magnificent silver fox whose pink eyes sparkle like rubies afloat in a milky white sea, has been wandering around the neighborhood all day, going about his or her squirrel business, taking care to strike iconic poses every so often as if to say “look out world, here I come!”

“Huh! It’s albino,” said James Hardwick, whose front yard was briefly deemed worthy of being patronized by the dazzling creature, “I should take a picture and send it to the kids.”

At press time, the squirrel was searching for a lost acorn with all the elegance and theatricality of a Beyoncé music video.