COVID-19 Continues Minnesota Goodbye
“Here in Minnesota, we are always happy to host, but when it comes to global pandemics we’d like to end the party early when possible,” Governor Tim Walz said.
MINNEAPOLIS—Overstaying its welcome in the state, COVID-19 continues to linger among citizens into mid July by making a slow and meandering departure often known as a “Minnesota Goodbye”.
Governor Tim Walz expressed dismay that the disease has continued to visit Minnesota residents despite hopeful expectations that things would wrap up early so he could get some rest.
“Here in Minnesota, we are always happy to host, but when it comes to global pandemics we’d like to end the party early when possible,” Governor Tim Walz said.
Experts optimistically expected COVID-19 to leave near the end of May, however the infectious disease continues to make itself comfortable in the state, catching up with Minnesotans and ignoring signs that it is time to leave.
Passive aggressively signaling to the communicable disease that the get-together had ended ages ago, Minnesotans began visiting restaurants and convening in public places without protective masks, hopeful the novel coronavirus would “get the message”. COVID-19 has reportedly not taken the hint and instead continues to infect individuals as if the state doesn’t have any other plans.
“We didn’t even invite COVID-19 to begin with, but the Minnesotan in us thought it would be rude to just ask it to leave,” said Health Commissioner Jan Malcolm at press time.