MINNEAPOLIS — In a move both alarming and deplorable, local anarchist Sage Beckett has repaired her neighbor’s fence in exchange for some baked goods.
“It all happened so fast. There were no permits, no regulations, she didn’t even seek permission from the neighborhood association,” said Duane Kellogg, who witnessed the chaos from across the street.
Sage Beckett, a part-time delivery driver and full-time traitor to the American Dream, reportedly offered to fix her neighbor’s fence after noticing that a few panels had advanced dry rot. She even went as far as to source the replacement fencing from a “FREE & FOR TRADE” Facebook page in a clear act of rebellion against the American lumber economy. Beckett declined payment for her labor, but accepted a loaf of sourdough bread from her elderly neighbor despite the lack of FDA oversight on the production of said baked goods.
“This used to be a neighborhood that respected law and order,” said Kellogg, shaking his head. “It’s just so sad to see these evil communists destroy America by circumventing the bureaucracy that made this country.”
At press time, Beckett and the complicit neighbor were enjoying a potluck-style grill out, and negotiating a black-market exchange for some tailoring.