Food Bank Exposed For Predatory Ham Loans

A new shocking report from the Nordly Investigative team reveals that the Full Plates, Full Hearts Food Bank had engaged in multiple instances of predatory lending practices towards aspiring hamowners.

“I came to Full Plate after seeing a charming ad as I was watching the cheap version of Hulu,” stated local restaurateur Ethan Moore, a victim of the bank’s malpractice. “But I had no idea that the loan was more than I could afford. With their sky high interest rates I ended up paying 150 pigcent of the pigciple.” 

Moore provided evidence that he lost various items of collateral through the bank, including but not limited to, a food truck, a new air fryer, and the ability to make people laugh at parties. 

“Local pork-lovers have been struggling due to various shifting changes in the meat market. Every time a vegan tweets or a basketball star endorses bacon, people freak out and Full Plate, Full Hearts played on these people’s fears” shared Stephen Porklin, lead investigator for Nordly Investigative Team.

Porklin is optimistic about a bright pink future. “The piggybank must be smashed to get the goods. We are confident that we have enough for a lawsuit that could lead to a new future, that gives people access to the meat they want.”

The Nordly Investigative Team will also be looking into the decades long mystery of “Where’s The Beef”.