Huh: Eagan Family Really Isn’t Going To Clean Up Their Tiny White Dog’s Disgusting, Seeping Little Eyes

EAGAN – They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder–except when those eyes are oozing puss, as is the case with one Eagan family’s bichon frise, Lulu, whose disgusting, seeping little eyes have been terrorizing her owners’ neighbors for years. 

“Every time I walk past their house I’m thinking, ‘that dog’s eyes have to be cleaned up by now, right?” said the Harris family’s neighbor, Stanley Klaussen. “And then I look over and there’s Lulu staring at me with her sad little gooey eyes. How can they be so wet and so dry at the same time? And they just leave them like that.”  

According to community members, the 12-year-old dog’s eyes have been in their current state of repugnance for the last 3 years, a fact which the Harris family seems to be completely unaware of. 

“I ran into Ted Harris the other day when he was out walking Lulu, and he was just chatting away like it’s no big deal that she’s a walking biohazard,” said Kathleen Lin, another neighbor. “I’m trying to pay attention to what he’s saying about his new Tevas but all I can see is Lulu’s heinous little tear ducts coagulating goo.” 

The Eagan community has seen mounting support for the Harris family to do something about Lulu’s rancid sticky toffee eye discharge, with some going so far as to create a task force that would work with the Harrises to get rid of Lulu’s grotesque, dribbling ocular puss. 

When asked about how their dog was doing, Linda Harris said that Lulu was doing well and was glad that her “little celebrity” is the focus of so many admiring eyes.