Mango Well Past Its Prime Embarrassed by Kowalski’s $4 Price Tag
Photo by tripleMdesignz
Recently, a Mango at a St. Paul Kowalski’s was found in low spirits mumbling to itself. Its color was a browning sunburnt orange and its skin was leathery and soft. It seemed depressed and muttered that it was past its prime. But what really confused the mango was the price tag: ‘Mangoes – $4.00 Each.’
“Four dollars?” the mango said. “Come on! Now I have to look these people in the eye and we do this pathetic dance where they pretend like they have really high standards or something before they put me down.”
The mango continued, “It’s like, what’s it called? Imposter syndrome. I just feel like I’m not supposed to be here. Is it classist that I think I should be at an Aldi? Maybe. But I think I’d be appreciated over there and someone would actually eat me.”
When asked for its ideal outcome, the mango responded, “Something in me wants to make the person that buys me happy. But I won’t. So I’m angry at myself for being so old but even more angry at myself for caring about that. I shouldn’t care, but I do. Honestly, at this point, I’d just like to go to the compost.”
Within a week the Mango was off the shelves. At press time, Kowalski’s could not confirm if it had been sold or thrown away, but the price tag had been switched to ‘Mangos – 2 for $4.’