Minneapolis Prepares for Positive Outcome in the Chauvin Trial by Deploying National Guard

MINNEAPOLIS — As the Twin Cities prepares for the trial of Derek Chauvin, citizens can rest easy knowing that Governor Walz is planning for a positive outcome by deploying the National Guard. 

“People responded to it so well this past summer”, said Walz in a recent interview. “I figured, what puts people more at ease than streets filled with military vehicles and heavily armed members of The Guard?” 

If the National Guard being back on the streets of Minneapolis doesn’t fill you with enough sense of calm, the boarded-up storefronts and barricades in front of the Hennepin County Government Center make it pretty clear that Minneapolis is prepared for the justice system to produce a fair and positive outcome for all. 

At press time, city employees were last seen sharpening the barbed wire fences around city hall.