Minneapolis Resident Prepares to Fail At Gardening for 4th Consecutive Year

Spring has arrived, and Minneapolis resident Mitchell Devins has gone to Home Depot once again, to see which plants he will mercilessly neglect and kill in his urban garden.

“Apparently you need different types of soil and sun for various plants, who knew?” said Devins, completely ignoring the instructions on the 25+ packets of seeds that will sit dormant in it’s bag for weeks before being planted.

Very little remains of Devins’ attempt at fostering vegetation last year outside of a tomato stand that bore one tomato, a couple of kitschy pots for plants, and one strawberry that seemed to survive. However, the wannabe concrete-jungle farmer aims to expand his operations to a little greenhouse in the one sunny spot near the garage of his Minneapolis property.

“Apparently you need different types of soil and sun for various plants, who knew?” said Devins, completely ignoring the instructions on the 25+ packets of seeds that will sit dormant in it’s bag for weeks before being planted.

“Never once did that organic salsa he promised us, actually happen” stated Devins’ neighbor, Laura Greggs, who has seen Devins repeat this same farming charade for 4 years, failing miserably each time.

Friends and family look forward to the conclusion of Devins’ attempt and subsequent failure at urban agriculture, when he ultimately bails on the 17 plants he bought by mid July.

Devins remains optimistic however, even in the face of history telling him otherwise.