Minnesota Woman Now ‘Cultured’ After Single Visit to Midtown Global Market
Original photo by Tony Webster
Local woman Shari Anderson took to social media to claim the title “cultured” after a visit last weekend to Midtown Global Market. Thanks to ordering from Taco Cat and pretending to consider purchasing a brightly colored poncho of now-forgotten national origin, the 32-year-old Edina woman is now far wiser in the ways of the world, having immersed herself within the immensity of the human experience.
“I can admit now that I was sheltered before in my first-world American lifestyle,” said Anderson while trying to find the perfect lighting for an Instagram shot of her tacos “I feel that this new awareness will transform me into a more worldly citizen of the world.”
Anderson then moved on to the Hmong Crafts stall, where she eagerly asked the owner, “Wait, where are you from?” Anderson was amazed when he patiently explained that he is, in fact, from Minnesota.
Anderson reported an increased motivation to eat more global foods and check the privilege that allowed her to afford an UberBlack for the 2-mile commute to the market. For her next trip, she has vowed to experience a different lifestyle by riding her bike while wearing Lululemon leggings.
“Before today, I had never tried a salsa spicier than mild,” said Anderson. “Now, I’m a whole new woman. Namaste.”
Anderson added a selfie featuring bubble tea to her online dating profile to let potential matches know that she is a globally savvy woman, vowing to only message “exotic-looking dudes.” Next weekend, she is considering either joining the Peace Corps or placing an artful map of the world on her apartment wall to add more cultural flair to her life. She also vowed to adjust her budget, taking a little money she had planned to donate to nonprofits to instead purchase “globally inspired” jewelry on Etsy.
In fact, Anderson expects these undertakings to shift her lifestyle so much that she will have to turn down her friend’s invitation to teach English-language classes to recent immigrants, instead investing the time reading as many Wikipedia pages on world cultures as she can find.